I heard this quote and it inspired me to write about it. It went some like this: if you don’t heal from the pain in your life first, you will bleed on those that didn’t hurt you.
I think that it is so true.
Unless you heal your wounds, they will remain open and those that will come into your life will trigger those wounds causing them to bleed. Your perspective of life will be molded from that pain. Your thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions will come out as a result of any unhealed areas in your past. You may want to avoid it but our past cannot be erased. You must also want to heal instead of holding on to your story and use it as an excuse for your behavior.
Unless you deal with your anger and resentment, your words will be swords, you will try to show your power or become a victim, you will keep a score card and hurt those that cross path even when you don’t want to. Anger will become your dominant emotion and resentment will fuel it like a veil deceiving your perception.
Until you deal with your abandonment issues, you are going to feel insecure, under valued, unappreciated and unworthy. You will feel the need of constantly pleasing others. You will feel rejected, unloved and in fear of really connecting with another person.
Until you overcome your fear of being alone, you will hide and numb your pain with work, people, hobbies, drugs, alcohol and others distractions, instead of facing your grace.
Until you overcome your fear of commitment and fear of getting hurt, you will experience shallow relationships that will leave you feeling empty and lost.
Until you find validation within yourself, the need for approval from others will immobilize your dreams, it will create anxiety and you will live in fear of being judged. You will act as you are expected to act ignoring your own feelings.
Until you learn to deal with conflict, you will not be true to your self and as a result you will silence your voice, agree to things when you don’t want to and run away from people and situations that you might not have needed to. As you avoid conflict, you also avoid a deeper connection. As you avoid conflict, your feelings of resentment will grow.
Until you learn to love yourself, you will bounce around abusive relationships, you will lack the confidence to do want you desire and will allow people to hurt you. You will accept less, settle for crumbs, chase people around, bend over backwards to please people and continuously feel undeserving.
While healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey, it does require for us to be aware, so that we don’t bleed onto others what needed to be healed within.